


To Love

by Diamond_Mind



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Andi Mack Secret Valentine, Andi's baby brother is named Ziggy, Angst, Deals, Don't copy to another site, F/F, F/M, I hope it's good, M/M, Muffy - Freeform, Pool Party, T.J.'s older brother is named Moe, This is a gift for nineteenohtwo, ambi eventually, and I hope y'all like it too, because they are so cute and I love them, boo me, hope she likes it, i don't wanna give too much away, it is so late, it's my first time writing ambi, jibby, milkshake flavor debate, morning runs, playlist making fights, scaling houses, sorry - Freeform, they're already a couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 01:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diamond_Mind/pseuds/Diamond_Mind
Summary: Andi Mack Secret Valentine.-Hey T.J., I woke up and left, didn't want to wake you. You looked like you needed it. I know this is coming out of the blue, but is it okay if we don't see each other for a while, I need to be away from you, you know? Sorry. -Cyrus





	To Love

**Author's Note:**

> Organized by [swingsetboys](https://swingsetboys.tumblr.com/)
> 
> This is for [nineteenohtwo](https://nineteenohtwo.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Some of the dialogue is based off my real life experiences so that's fun.
> 
> Any and all mistakes are mine, feel free to correct me.

Cyrus knew better than to fall for any boy that gave him the time of day, especially after the disaster that was his crush on Jonah Beck. But he couldn't help it with T.J., it was so easy to be himself around him and he loved that. He didn’t have to worry about making himself seem more masculine or casual around him. He could just be his natural, comfortable self. And It wasn’t like he meant to start crushing on him intentionally, it just happened.

T.J. was objectively attractive anyone with eyes could see that and if they denied it they were fooling themselves.

But T.J. was more than just a pretty face with a scowl that could scare even the toughest of people. Underneath his hard exterior, T.J. was thoughtful, caring, and just plain amazing. He knew how to make Cyrus feel better with few words and sometimes just his presence alone could calm him down. He made Cyrus feel accepted and like he could do anything.

T.J. was more than just a best friend or a crush. 

To Cyrus, T.J. was someone special.

And he made Cyrus feel special, with every brush of their shoulders, every smile directed at him, every look in his direction, everything T.J. did meant something. T.J. never did anything without reason.

But Cyrus knew better than to read too much into people's actions. He couldn't let himself hope no matter what, it would only lead to heartbreak and a ruined friendship. Something he didn't want.

Besides, T.J. was too good for him. Compared to him, Cyrus was nothing, but a wisp of a boy who tripped over himself. He was lucky T.J. even wanted to be his friend and he didn’t want to mess that up, no matter what his friends said.

-^-

“Come on, Cy! I  _ know  _ T.J. likes you!” Buffy shouts at him from across the booth. “Just tell him you like him and get it over with.”

“Buffy! Shush! Please. You don’t know that!” Cyrus pleads, withdrawing into himself as he felt the eyes of the other Spoon patrons turn to their booth. He had wanted to get some advice from Buffy on how exactly to deal with his feelings for T.J. and in true Buffy fashion, she had gotten exasperated with his constant denial over the possibility of T.J. actually liking him back. He should’ve gone to Andi.

“I do know! I am observant as fuck!” She turned to Marty next to her, “Tell him, babe,” She demands smacking his arm, breaking his trance out the window.

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Buffy is pretty observant,” He quickly supplies, earning another smack to the arm. Whipping his head towards his girlfriend he pinches her arm earning a small yelp.

Smirking he turns back to Cyrus, “Listen, Cy, I know you might think it impossible for a guy like T.J. to like you back, but just look at me and Buffy?” He gestures with his hand between him and Buffy. “Who would’ve thought someone as fine as,“ A smile begins growing on Buffy’s face. “ _ Me _ would end up with Buffy?” Buffy’s head whipped to glare at the smirking boy, before pushing his face away with her hand.

“What Marty was supposed to say was that any boy would be lucky to have you like them, Cy. Your precious and sweet and deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for.” She smiles at him beautifully, reaching over and taking his hand in hers. “Okay?”

He looks at her, his eyes shining at the lovely words coming from her, “Okay, Buffy.”

“Let me get some of that,” Marty whines, making grabby hands towards Cyrus’ other hand before Cyrus gives it to him. Marty gives it a gentle squeeze. “‘Sides it’s not like Kippen could be any more obvious about his feelings for you.”

“What do you mean?” Cyrus tilts his head in confusion looking at Marty.

“Well, I am no expert, but from what I have observed when we’re on group outings is T.J. mainly sticks to you like gum. You guys walk so close you're practically human bumper cars.” Marty gives him a knowing look.

“That doesn’t mean anything, friends walk close to each other all the time. Let’s not forget I am clumsy and bumping into things and people is pretty common for me," Cyrus responds with a nod of his head.

Buffy sighs loudly, “Cy, come on! The guy practically perks up like a puppy when you arrive!”

“We’re friends, Buffy. I perk up whenever you and Andi show up, too.” He counters.

“Cyrus, I am sorry, but that is because you have social anxiety,” Buffy rebuffs, patting his hand before letting go to cross her arms in front of her. 

Cyrus frowns at the loss of comfort. Marty notices giving him a fond smile before grabbing his other hand and squeezing them.

Cyrus smiles, feeling a warm blush creep onto his cheeks at the small gesture of kindness from the other boy. They had become close friends since he came back into Buffy’s life. It felt good to have a guy friend that wasn't his ex-crush, Jonah.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Buffy protests. “I am the best friend, here! I do the comforting!”

Marty smirks at her before letting go of Cyrus’ hands so she can take hold of them.

“Look, Cy, I know you’re afraid of rejection, everyone is and that’s okay, but I don’t think T.J. is going to reject you. The way he looks at you is...amazing. He looks at you the way Marty looks at me and I look at him.” She lovingly looks at Marty who smiles dazzlingly back at her.

Cyrus could feel tears prickling at his eyes from Buffy’s soft words, “You really think so?” He manages out.

“I really do, Cy.” She runs her thumbs over his knuckles. “And if you don’t wanna tell him it’s alright, whatever makes you comfortable.”

Cyrus nodds, blinking back his tears.

“Alright! Now, who wants baby taters and milkshakes?” Marty grins looking between his girlfriend and best friend.

“Ugh! Marty! You ruined our moment!” Buffy whines letting go of Cyrus’ hands to push Marty away from her as he laughs happily, Cyrus laughing along.

Marty looks over at him, grinning, while trying to avoid Buffy’s hands. “Sorry, Cy.”

“It’s fine,” Cyrus manages out through giggles.

-^-

**TeeJay:** _Hey Underdog, wanna catch up over some tates at The Spoon tomorrow?_

 

Cyrus couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he read the text over. It had been two weeks since his conversation with Buffy and Marty and one week since he last saw T.J.. Who had left for Salt Lake City a week ago for the Annual Kippen Family Reunion. T.J.'s Opa has one rule that everyone must follow and that is: No phones allowed unless absolutely necessary so he and T.J. hadn't been able to communicate with one another for the whole week that he was gone. Cyrus had missed him terribly.

Wasting no more time he texts back.

**Underdog:** _Teej! You’re back! Of course I want to. It’s been too long._

Before Cyrus could start second-guessing himself he presses send and stares intently at his screen, watching as the three dots appear for a while and then another text pops up.

**TeeJay:** _It’s only been a week, Underdog, but I know what you mean. Great, see you at The Spoon, say at 2pm?_

Cyrus felt a warmth blossoming in his chest at T.J.’s words.  _ Has he missed me, too?  _ Cyrus shakes his head, he was probably just reading too much into T.J.’s words. 

**Underdog:** _Yeah, see you then._

Cyrus rolls onto his back clutching his phone to his chest. He turns his head to look out his bedroom window, the evening sky looks beautiful. He wonders what T.J. was doing at this very moment.

_ Probably unpacking, duh. _

Cyrus couldn’t wait until tomorrow. He’d finally get to see T.J. after so long. If Cyrus was being honest, it had been quite boring without T.J. around to hang out with. Buffy had Marty and they were almost always turning everything into a competition, sometimes it was fun to watch, but after a while it got boring. Andi was also busy, with the arrival of her baby brother last month, things at the Quack house were pretty hectic, everyone was still adjusting to the baby’s ever-changing sleep schedule. Amber was also busy. Her family situation had gotten better over the years and she didn’t have to work anymore which was a good thing for her. She could now focus on herself.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by his step-mother, “Cyrus, honey, dinner is ready!”

“Coming!” He calls back, getting up from his bed. Turning to the mirror on his wall, he fixes his hair before going downstairs for dinner.

-^-

“Papa, I’m going to The Spoon with T.J.,” Cyrus calls out, slipping on his shoes.

“T.J.’s back?” His dad, Norman, calls back.

“Yeah, since yesterday!” 

“Tell him “hi” for us, Hamud,” Sharon shouts to him.

“I will, bye!” He slips on his sweater and walks out the door.

-^-

Cyrus walks into the quaint diner, the faint smell of coffee and baby taters assaulting his nose as the bell dings above him. He looks around before hearing, “Underdog! Over here!” and spotting T.J., already waving him over to a booth by the windows. Quickly walking over and sliding in across from a smiling T.J..

“Hey, Teej. How have you been?” Cyrus asks, smiling widely.

“I’ve been good, better now that I get to see your smiling face, again.” He grins at him. “How has my favorite Underdog been?”

“I-I’ve been good,” Cyrus speaks up, looking away feeling his cheeks heat up at the compliment.  _ Is T.J. flirting with me? No. he’s just being friendly. _ Cyrus berates himself internally.

T.J. gave him that lopsided smile Cyrus had only ever seen him direct at him. It made his heart speed up and stomach flip. “I’m glad, I missed you,” He says softly, catching Cyrus’ eyes.

Cyrus feels his heart skip a beat at those words, locking eyes with the laurel eyes in front of him. The very eyes that if you were allowed to be close enough you would see the golden flecks adorning them. They were so beautiful,  _ he  _ was beautiful. Cyrus felt like he was staring at a Greek god, the way the sunlight filtered through the window highlighting his sharp features making him look otherworldly. 

“Underdog,” T.J. gently calls out, leaning forward.

Cyrus feels his face heat up at having been caught staring, “Uh, yeah?” He manages out, embarrassed.

“I asked how you spent your week without me?” T.J. smirks, leaning back.

The corners of Cyrus’ mouth quirk up at that, “Well TeeJay, I’ll have you know I am not completely dependant on you.” Cyrus shrugs, cutely. 

“Underdog, you wound me,” T.J. dramatizes with a hand to his heart. “I never meant it in that way.” He smirks as Cyrus giggles at him.

“Oh course, Teej. How could I think such a thing,” Cyrus snootily lifts his nose up in the air before breaking into another giggling fit, T.J. joining. 

Once they manage to stop giggling Cyrus continues, “I mostly third-wheeled with Marty and Buffy, the occasional afternoon babysitting with Andi, and nightly family time. That’s it.” He shrugs, “What about yourself, Kippen Family Reunion?”

“Oh yeah, this year it was different. Once we all get to Opa's house, Opa says he wants to go to the lake house so we all have to pack up, again, and head to the lake house. You remember the lake house, right?” T.J. asks him, tilting his head to the side.

Cyrus’ brows furrow before it dawns on him. During freshman spring break they had all gone up to the Kippen family lake house, it was quite a while back, but he recalls it was really nice. Nodding his head, he earns a smile from T.J. that set his heart racing, again.

“So we get to the lake house and since no one's been there in, like, a year we have to clean it up and restock it with food.” T.J. sighs. “Man, it was tiring. Luckily, it only took us a day and a half. Afterward, we had a cookout and messed around in the lake. It was so much fun.” T.J. had a wide smile on his face, his eyes sparkling as he recalls his week to Cyrus.

-^-

After T.J. tells Cyrus all about his week, they order some baby taters and milkshakes or as T.J. had taken to calling them “tates and shakes” and talk about their plans for the rest of the summer.

They were now walking aimlessly around town talking about this and that, it was normal and Cyrus loved it. Things between them were always so comfortable never did it feel awkward, they never struggled for a topic. They got along swimmingly. And Cyrus guessed that was why he was so taken with T.J..

“C’mon, Underdog, you know you want to,” T.J. said chuckling, bumping their shoulders together. 

“Want to what, huh?” Cyrus teases, smiling up at him.

T.J. turned to look down at him with a smirk, making Cyrus’ heart stutter.

“You know,” He said his voice low and playful as he leans down into Cyrus’ space.

Cyrus inhales sharply, locking eyes with a smirking T.J..

There they were, the golden flecks only a few had ever been up close to see.

“D-do I…” Cyrus trails off, his eyes widening when he notices T.J.’s eyes flicker down and then back up. They were filled with so many emotions Cyrus couldn’t name one.  _ Was this the look Buffy had been talking about? _ He wonders silently.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when T.J. bumps their foreheads together, “Ow,” Cyrus whines, rubbing his forehead.

“You were spacing out there, Underdog. Had to make sure my muffin was alright,” T.J. smirks down at him.

“Muffin?” Cyrus asks, looking up at T.J..

“Yeah, you like ‘em, I like ‘em. Seemed fitting, our thing.” T.J. shrugs at him. “You don’t like it?”

Cyrus quickly shakes his head.  _ Our thing. _ Kept repeating over and over in his head. “I like it,” He shyly looks up at T.J.. “Our thing.”

T.J. smiles down at him softly, “Yeah, ours.” 

They continue walking aimlessly bumping shoulders, brushing hands, and knocking heads, courtesy of T.J.. 

Cyrus couldn’t have been happier.

-^-

When Cyrus gets home he flops onto his bed sighing out happily, today had been a wonderful day.

_ Playful laurel eyes look down at him, “You know,” was softly said into his space. “D-do I…” He trails off as emotion filled eyes gaze at him. The same stare Buffy gave Marty and Marty gave her. Could it be? _

His eyes shoot open, he couldn’t have been imagining that.  _ Could he? _

Pulling out his phone he immediately phones Andi. 

“Hello?”

“Three-way call with Buffy,” was all he says.

“Got it,” She said as she dials Buffy’s number.

“Hey, what’s up?” Buffy greets.

“I hung out with T.J. today,” He rushes out.

“Okaaayyy,” Comes Andi’s reply.

“Yeah Cyrus, we been knew that,” Buffy deadpans.

“Sorry, but that’s not it…” He trails off, afraid to continue.

“Go on then!” Andi urges.

“Yeah, c’mon!” Buffy agrees.

“Well, remember that conversation we had at The Spoon with Marty, Buffy?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Wait, what conversation?” Andi asks, confused.

“Well, I think you and Marty might be right about it,” Cyrus admitted.

“I knew it!” Buffy triumphs.

“WHAT CONVERSATION!?” Andi screams at them.

“Ow, Andi. No screaming,” Cyrus winces.

“Well sorry, but I am at a loss here. What conversation with Marty?”

“Basically, Marty and I were trying to convince Cyrus that T.J. does like him, like, a lot,” Buffy explains quickly.

“Oh, seriously, Cy? You didn’t know?”

“What do you mean ‘I didn’t know’?” Cyrus asks, exasperated.

“That T.J. has the biggest crush on you,” Andi elaborates.

“He does no-” “What were you saying earlier Cyrus? Oh yeah, that Marty and I were right, huh.” Buffy cuts him off, the smile evident in her voice.

“Ugh, fine. Like I was saying, I think you guys were right,” He sighs out. “Today while we were hanging out he looked at me with this unreadable expression in his eyes, it was different. And when he would smile at me it was like… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“So are you gonna tell him, Cy?” Andi questions softly.

“I don’t know,” He admitts quietly.

“You have to, Cy. He does like you and today just proved it to you,” Buffy urges.

“Yeah, next time you see him you should tell him and you’ll see that we’re right and he does like you as much as you like him,” Andi finishes.

“Are you guys sure. What if he doesn’t. Then what? I could have just ruined our whole friendship!” Cyrus frets.

“He’s not, Cy.” Both girls say in unison, making all three giggle.

“But if you don’t want to, that’s okay,” Andi reassures.

“Yeah, but think about it, Cy, you’ve liked T.J. since the seventh grade. I think he should at least know.” Buffy states. “He’s a handsome guy who likes you for you, Cy, it doesn’t get any better than that.

“Handsome?” You could hear the smirk in Andi’s voice.

“Oh shush you.”

Andi giggles.

“So what do you say, Cy?” Andi carefully asks.

=

“I… I guess I’ll try, but if I end up chickening out then that is the end of that.”

“Aww, c’mon, Cyrus! You can’t do that,” Andi whines.

“Cy, you can’t just let your crush be a crush.”

“Yes, I can,” Cyrus rebuffs.

“Cy you are being unfair.”

“I am not, Andi. It is my choice. If T.J. likes me he can tell me, too. Why does it have to be me?”

“You’re right, but what if T.J. is also afraid of telling you and is waiting for you to make the first move, then what?” Buffy suggests.

“Then… I don’t know,” Cyrus sighs.

“Exactly, Cyrus. I know it’s scary, but you can do it,” Buffy asserts.

“I can?” Andi wonders aloud.

“What do you mean, Andi?” Cyrus asks.

“Oh uh, nothing, sorry, just thinking out loud,” Andi quickly answers.

“Okay. Anyways, you think you can do it, Cy?” 

“Yeah, I think I can. Thank you, Buffy,” Cyrus relents.

“What about me?” Andi jokes, scandalized.

Cyrus chuckled, “Thank you, too, Andi. You’re both the best of friends a boy like me could ask for.”

“You’re welcome, Cyrus,” Buffy answers.

“Yeah, Cy. We’re here for you, for whatever you might need,” Andi say, sincerely.

“Thanks, you guys, same goes for you both. I’ll always be there for you guys.”

A loud cry breaks their moment.

“Sorry guys, Ziggy woke up. I have to go. Bye.”

“Aww, bye Andi. Give the little guy a hug for me,” Buffy says.

“Yeah, and say ‘hi’ to Bex and Bowie for us!” Cyrus calls out before Andi hangs up on them. 

“Are you gonna tell him, Cy?” Buffy questions, breaking the small silence.

“I think I will, hopefully next time we hang out.”

“Alright, welp, I gotta go help my mom and dad with dinner. Bye.”

“Bye, Buffy.”

She hangs up and Cyrus quietly listens to the end tone before tossing his phone on his pillow. Turning on his stomach, he looks out his window, recalling today's events.

A small, fond smile graces his features.

Hopefully, he'll be able to tell T.J. next time they see each other.

-^-

 

It had been three days since the three-way call and he had hung out with T.J. twice since then and has he confessed?

 

No.

 

Why?

 

Because he couldn’t do it. It was too much, if he even just thought about it he’d begin to panic and that was never good. He’d almost had three panic attacks those two times he’d hung out with T.J. because he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’d probably never be able to tell T.J. if that kept happening.

 

But he really wanted to after that talk with Andi and Buffy. Just daydreaming about being able to hold T.J.’s hand whenever he wanted to, lean on him when they walked around town, jumping into his arms after a long day. It seemed like pure bliss and Cyrus wanted that. But he also didn’t want to ruin what he and T.J. had now. T.J. was too important to him for it all to be ruined by his stupid feelings. 

 

A ding off to his side broke him out of his thoughts. He reached for his phone and saw a message from T.J., he wasted no time in opening it.

 

**TeeJay:** _ I got off work early, wanna grab some frozen yoghurt, Muffin? _

 

Cyrus got giddy just reading the new nickname.

 

**Underdog:** _I’d love to, Teej!_

 

**TeeJay:** _Rad! Wanna meet up at the Yoghurt Pot?_

 

**Underdog:** _Yeah, see you there._

 

Cyrus quickly got up and slipped on his rainbow chex shoes and looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a pink button-up with even pinker flamingos (how ironic) and black jeans with a ripped knee from when he fell while running. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled at his reflection before pocketing his phone and going downstairs.

 

“Hey Papa, I’m off to get fro-yo with Teej,” He told his dad as he walked into the kitchen.

 

“Okay, tell him ‘hi’ for us,” Norman replied, smiling at his son.

 

“Okay,” Cyrus replied walking towards the fridge to get a drink of water.

 

“Hamud, where are you off to?” Sharon asked as she walked into the kitchen holding a bouquet of garden carnations.

 

“Code: T.J.,” Norman responded with a knowing grin.

 

“Oh,” Sharon got this look of understanding. “Have fun, Hamud.”

 

Cyrus narrowed his eyes at his dad, “I will,” He said suspiciously as he walked out the kitchen and then out the front door.

 

-^-

 

Cyrus saw T.J. waiting outside the Yoghurt Pot. He was wearing his white gym shirt, and even from afar Cyrus could see the way T.J. filled the shirt in, with black sweat pants and black high top sneakers. His hands were in his pockets and his face was turned up towards the sky, his eyes closed with a small smile. 

 

He just looked so serene Cyrus almost didn’t want to approach him, but he did with a big smile.

 

“Hey Teej,” He greeted with a small wave.

 

T.J. turned to him and Cyrus swore it was in slow motion, the way his eyes fluttered open at Cyrus’ voice and then turned to him, his smile brightening. “Underdog! You’re here!”

 

“I said I would be didn’t I?” Cyrus teased.

 

“Obviously,” T.J. smirked, bumping their shoulders together as they walked into the building.

 

-^-

 

With shoulders knocking against one another, they wandered around town joking around, eating their frozen yoghurt. 

 

“Marty is one of the dumbest people I know,” T.J. insisted, laughing.

 

“No he isn’t, he’s one of your best friends,” Cyrus giggled, elbowing T.J..

 

“I’m serious! He literally said and I quote, “I’ma make fast people look not fast” when Buffy gave him a pair of new running shoes!” 

 

“Okay, wow. Yeah. That is pretty dumb,” Cyrus relented with a slight wince.

 

“Exactly,” T.J. exhaled, stuffing his mouth with the last of his frozen yoghurt before tossing his trash, Cyrus following. “And he’s not one of my best friends, you’re my only best friend, Muffin.”

 

Those words made both his stomach sink and heart race. “Really?”

 

“Well yeah, you’re more than just a best friend, Muffin.” T.J. stopped and turned to look right at him.

 

Laurel eyes met chocolate eyes.

 

And then that smile, that lopsided smile that was reserved only for him made its way onto T.J.’s lips and Cyrus melted.

 

“Y-yeah?” He breathed, he could feel himself blushing, but he didn’t care.

 

T.J. slowly nodded, “Yeah, you’re special to me, Muffin, in a way no one else has ever been.”

 

_ It’s now or never, Cyrus! T.J. practically just told you, you mean a lot to him. Breathe. _ Cyrus tried encouraging himself.

 

He inhaled shakily, “T-T.J.? I-I ha-have something to tell y-you.” He felt a lump form in his throat. 

 

Making it hard to get the words out. 

 

Making it hard to breathe properly.

 

T.J. noticed and immediately grabbed Cyrus’ small hands and placed them on his chest, holding them there, “Breathe, Cy. Inhale… Exhale…” He demonstrated carefully.

 

Cyrus nodded, trying to match their breathing. 

 

When his breathing had evened out, T.J. let go of his hands and looked at him proudly, “You did good, Muffin.” He praised.

 

“I like you!” Cyrus blurted.

 

T.J. looked taken aback, his eyes wide.

 

“I like you, too, Muffin,” He said patting Cyrus’ shoulder.

 

“N-no!” Cyrus rushed, gripping his arm. “I li-like like y-you, a lot.”

 

T.J. tensed.

 

“I...I have since seventh grade, I d-don’t kn-know when exactly, maybe around the time you helped me with the somersault and then everything you did after,” He ranted. “I-I’ve been afraid to tell you because we’ve been friends for so long and I cherish our friendship so much, you’re a really important person in my life, I want to be around you all the time. I’ve gained so much confidence because of you, I’ve done so many things that I would’ve previously thought myself hopeless to do. Which now that I think of it is why I am even able to even tell you this,” Cyrus finished softly, looking down at his hand still gripping T.J.’s arm before quickly letting go.

 

T.J. looked down at Cyrus, the boy looked obviously shaken from his confession.

 

“Underdog,” T.J. began softly, grabbing a hold of his hand. “I am deeply flattered that you like me.” Cyrus looked up at him, his cheeks red and eyes bright. “You are a very important person to me, too.” He gave a soft smile that Cyrus beautifully returned. “But I don’t like you in that way…”

 

Cyrus’ smile fell and shame burned on his face. His heartbreaking.

 

T.J. gently squeezed Cyrus’ hand trying to comfort the crumbling boy.

 

“I hope this doesn’t ruin what we have,” He tried.

 

Cyrus felt the tears quickly pool in his eyes, “Uh, no...yeah. Um…” He grimaced, biting his lower lip. “I hope it doesn’t either.” He smiled brokenly up at T.J..

 

T.J. carefully lifted his other hand, gently caressing Cyrus’ cheek.

 

“Underdog, I am so so sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault, d-don’t worry about it.”

Cyrus slowly started backing away from T.J. and his touch.

 

T.J. reflexively tightened his hold on Cyrus’ hand.

 

“Where are you going, Muffin?”

 

The nickname that once made Cyrus all giddy now stung painfully.

 

Cyrus gently tugged his hand away. “I’m sorry. I just can’t be around you right now.”

 

And with that Cyrus turned and ran.

 

-^-

 

Cyrus didn’t know for how long he had been running, but he ran and ran until his breathing became too painful and his legs felt like lead. He collapsed on all fours on the hard concrete, scraping his exposed knee. He tried getting his labored breathing under control or else he’d lapse into an asthma attack and he couldn’t do that right now. He hadn’t brought his inhaler with him.

 

Thankfully after a while his gasping breathes managed to even out, lifting his head he blinked once, twice, thrice until the fuzzy outline of trees, parked cars, and colorful play sets focused. He carefully pulled himself up onto shaky, numb legs and walked over to the swingset, where a little boy and girl were swinging on one side laughing.

 

He grabbed a hold of the cold chain and jiggled it, listening as it squeaked and groaned. 

 

This was where he and T.J. first met.

 

Where they came whenever they were feeling down.

 

Where they found solace in one another.

 

This was their place.

 

But now it just hurt.

 

Cyrus felt the tears sting at his eyes, but he refused to cry. Blinking them back he gingerly sat on the swing, but he didn’t swing. He knew it wouldn’t make him feel better. Not after what happened. So he sat and thought.

 

_ Could my friends have lied to me? _

 

_ But why would they? _

 

_ What would they gain from it? _

 

Nothing.

 

He reached into his pocket and carefully pulled out his phone and opened up his messages with Buffy.

 

**CyCy:** _Hey, can you meet me at the park, please?_

 

**Boofy:** _Of course, Cy. Be there in a bit!_

 

-^-

 

Cyrus fiddled sadly with his fingers in his lap. He sat on the swing, just barely rocking back and forth.

 

He looked up when he heard the crunching of the tiny wood chips and saw Buffy walking up to him with a small smile, but it faded when she saw his face and her pace quickened.

 

“What’s wrong, Cy?” She asked crouching down in front of him, her hands covering his in a soothing gesture.

 

Cyrus felt the tears prickling at his eyes, unable to hold them back any longer he let them fall as he looked up into her dark eyes. “We read it all wrong,” He cried out.

 

“Read what? What are you talking about?” She urged, careful to keep her voice even.

 

“T.J.,” Was his curt reply as more tears streamed down his ruddy cheeks and his hands flew up to hurriedly wipe at them.

 

“What about T.J.? Did he hurt you?” SHe demanded, unable to keep the anger from her voice.

 

“No no, not intentionally. I confessed and he said he was sorry, but he…he didn’t feel the same way,” Cyrus sobbed out brokenly.

 

“I’ll kill him!” Buffy snarled, making to jump up from her position and go looking for the older boy.

 

“No no! It’s not his fault! We read it wrong! We can’t control other people’s feelings and we can’t blame him for not returning mine,” Cyrus hiccuped, as new tears formed in his eyes, his hands grasping hers tightly keeping her with him.

 

Buffy sighed, Cyrus was right. “I’m sorry,” She said, rubbing comforting circles onto his hands.

 

“Don’t be, he said we could still be friends and nothing has to change between us,” Cyrus said, tears leaking as he gave her a small sad smile. “Besides, I don’t want to ruin our relationship over such a stupid thing as my feelings.”

 

“Your feelings aren’t stupid, they’re valid and important, okay? Don’t brush them aside just because you feel they’ll ruin something important to you,” Buffy reassured, a bright smile on her face as she looked up at him.

 

He smiled back as best as he could as she pulled him into a hug, “Now, you just cry your little heart out until there is nothing left, okay?”

 

As if waiting for the permission, more tears came and cascaded down his rosy cheeks. Heart-wrenching sobs escaped his throat, muffled by Buffy’s denim jacket.

 

“You’re alright, you’re gonna be okay. Shh,” Buffy whispered softly into his hair, gently rubbing soothing circles on the small of his back.

 

-^-

 

It takes almost an hour and a half for him to stop crying, hiccuping he releases his hold on Buffy. He pulls away and Buffy notes the empty look in his eyes, she gives him a soft smile hoping to cheer him up, but all she gets in return is a rueful smile.

 

“You wanna go hang at The Spoon? My treat,” She offered with a cheerful smile.

 

He shakes his head, “No, I just wanna go home and sleep. Forget today and just start over tomorrow.”

 

“Alright, but I’m walking you home,” Buffy says standing up and dusting herself off. She offers him a hand and he gingerly takes it as they begin walking to his house, hand in hand.

 

-^-

 

Cyrus stares out his bedroom window, picking at the band-aid covering the scabbed over scrape, contemplating his next move.

 

He looks down at his phone in his lap, well at the message on his phone:

 

**TeeJay:** _Hey, Underdog, I know you said you can’t be around me right now and I completely understand, but when you’re ready I will be here and if you’re never ready, well, that's okay. I know it is selfish of me to ask you if we can still be friends and if you don’t want to be that’s fine, your feelings come first. Thank you and bye, Underdog. I am sorry._

 

T.J. had sent him that the night Cyrus had confessed, but Cyrus had been asleep and hadn’t seen it until the next morning, well afternoon, he had been so mentally, emotionally, and physically drained that he had slept until midday. When he saw it he had read it over and over until he had practically memorized the message. 

 

It had been almost a week since then and Cyrus hadn’t sent any sort of reply, he’d just stare at it. Sometimes if he stared at it long enough he’d see the three little dots pop up indicating that T.J. was typing, but nothing ever appeared. It was as if T.J. wanted to say more, but didn’t know how to and Cyrus could relate to that.

 

He’d spent the first two days since his rejection at home in his room, he’d told his dad and Sharon what had happened and they had comforted him allowing him another cry. Then when the third day came around Cyrus had a feeling his dad had called Buffy and Andi to get him out of the house because they came and practically dragged him out of the house and took him to the cinema. They had spent the rest of the day together hanging around the plaza. It felt so good to hang out just the three of them, again. He had forgotten why he had been depressed in the first place. But then he had come back home and the memories came rushing back full force and he broke down crying once the front door was shut.

 

Now, Andi and Buffy came over and they watched movies, Jonah, Marty, and Libby had joined them the last time. Amber was supposed to have joined them as well, but the timing had interfered with the dance class she taught, they had all been disappointed, but it seemed Andi had been even more disappointed than them for she had quietly sulked throughout the whole movie which was unusual for her since she loved  _ Titanic _ .

 

Today was different, quiet. Everyone was busy so he was left alone with his thoughts. Buffy was having a family day. Marty was busy training with the rest of the track team. Andi was babysitting baby Ziggy. Amber was busy completing her volunteering hours. And Jonah had a date-day with Libby. All his friends were busy.

 

Well, maybe not all of them, he didn’t know what T.J. was doing, but then again he was probably working.

 

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard.

 

_ What should I even say? _

 

**Underdog:** _Hi T.J., how are you?_ He quickly deleted the message and shut his phone off tossing it onto his bed in frustration.

 

He missed hanging out with T.J..

 

T.J. always made time for him, no matter what and Cyrus missed him so much.

 

He wanted to punch himself for ruining that.

 

He wanted to cry for ruining them.

 

And that's just what he did, he cried and cried and ignored the insistent ringing coming from his phone.

 

He missed being able to text T.J. anytime he was feeling down and then being able to see him at the swings. No matter what had him down T.J.'s presence would automatically make him feel better.

 

He missed him.

 

He needed him back.

 

So he made up his mind.

 

**Underdog:** _Hey Teej, can we meet up?_

 

-^-

 

When T.J.'s phone dinged his hands immediately shot for it. Ever since he had sent that message to Cyrus he had been on edge waiting for a response. Whether it was Cyrus telling him he never wanted to see him again or Cyrus asking him if they could talk, he waited on bated breath hoping it was Cyrus. But if never was. But that didn't stop him from getting his hopes up whenever his phone would ding or ring even if it meant they would be crushed when it wasn't him.

 

The air left him when he saw the message.

 

**Underdog:** _Hey Teej, can we meet up?_

 

He breathed a sigh of relief when he read it. Cyrus wanted to see him, he wanted to meet up. With him.

 

He thought that if anything Cyrus would ghost him and not want to see him for any reason.

 

T.J. was glad Cyrus wanted to meet up. Well, more than glad he was ecstatic if the mad way his heart was beating was anything to go by.

 

His thumbs flew over the small keyboard, quickly typing up a response before sending it.

 

**TeeJay:** _Of course, Underdog! Meet you at the swings._

 

He scrambled off his bed, looking at himself on the full-length mirror mounted on his wall. Distressed, cuffed jeans paired with a dark green shirt and his worn sneakers made him. He ran a hand through his wavy hair and sprinted out of his room and down the stairs.

 

He threw the front door open, “I'll be back in a few, Moe!” He called over his shoulder hearing a “Whatever” from his older brother as he shut the door and sprinted towards the park.

 

He felt a faint vibration come from his pocket and slowed down pulling out his phone.

 

**Underdog:** _Can we not meet at the swings? How about near the pond, instead?_

 

T.J.’s brows furrowed, they usually met up at the swings for everything. Shaking his head he typed his response.

 

**TeeJay:** _Okay, see you there._

 

T.J. pocketed his phone and began running again, taking a quick right.

 

-^-

 

T.J. arrived at the park and did a quick survey of it, taking everything in. It had been a while since he had come to the park. He had tried to avoid it the past few days because he didn’t want to catch Cyrus before he was ready to see him. If he saw Cyrus it was because Cyrus wanted to see him not because they had “bumped” into each other while at the park. The park had been Cyrus’ place first and he didn’t want to take that away from him so he gave him space.

 

He finally spotted Cyrus sitting on the steel strap bench under the great sycamore tree staring at the murky green pond water, he looked tired from the way his shoulders hunched in and T.J. felt a pang of guilt. It was his fault Cyrus was in such a state.

 

T.J. took a deep breath before approaching Cyrus carefully, “Hey, Underdog,” He said softly.

 

Cyrus looked up at him and gave him a small breathtaking smile that had T.J. feeling all warm inside.

 

“Hi,” Cyrus greeted him in a small whisper, patting the space next to him on the bench, “Come, sit.”

 

T.J. slowly walked up to the bench and sat down, leaving some space between them, usually, he and Cyrus sat really close to one another, but now T.J. didn’t think it appropriate unless Cyrus initiated it, he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries Cyrus had set up just in case. He, after all, did not know what Cyrus wanted to talk about.

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the water as it fell into the pond.

 

T.J.’s heart was a jackhammer, he was terrified. What of Cyrus never wanted to see him? What if he asked to meet up here just to tell him they couldn’t be friends? So many “what if” questions began running wild in his head.

 

He snuck a glance at Cyrus, his face had a peaceful almost serene look about it, but his eyes told a different story. They looked somber with red edges like he had been crying and he probably had. With all that had happened T.J. had come close to crying as well, afraid he’d lose Cyrus and he didn’t want that, but he hadn’t let himself cry until it was clear on what would happen between them.

 

Thinking about that now made him want to cry he could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. He took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself, his hands clenching tightly around the bench straps.

 

He flinched when he felt a feather light touch on the back of his clenched fist, looking to his left he saw Cyrus softly tracing his white knuckles. Unclenching his fist, he flexed his hand a bit to regain the color lost, Cyrus looked up at him with a small smile, “Are you okay?”

 

_ Cyrus is concerned for me? _

 

No, it was supposed to be the other way around, T.J. was supposed to ask him that.

 

“That doesn’t matter, what matters is if  _ you _ are okay, Cyrus? Not me, you matter more in this moment.” T.J. looked deep into those chocolate pools, savoring the moment. He didn’t know if it’d be his last and if it was he wanted to take Cyrus all in.

 

Cyrus’ smile fell a bit, a light blush colored his cheeks, he broke eye contact and slowly removed his fingertips from the back of T.J.’s hand, leaning back onto the bench. He took a deep breathe, “To tell you the truth, I haven’t been okay. Far from it, actually.”

 

“I know and that’s my fault, I’m sorry.” T.J. looked down, intertwining his fingers in his lap.

 

“It’s not your fault, Teej. I read too much into your actions and got my hopes up, you didn't do anything wrong, you were just being a really good friend,” Cyrus said, smiling sadly as he turned his gaze to the ripples in the pond.

 

T.J. didn’t know what to say to that, he couldn’t deny that his actions did seem a bit suggestive to any onlookers and outsiders now that he thought about. He should’ve been more considerate and aware of his surroundings.

 

“It’s also not your fault, Cyrus.” T.J. turned to look at him. “You can’t help the way you feel about someone, you can’t stop feelings from growing, they’re a natural thing that happens when we least expect it.”

 

Cyrus turned to look at him and so he continued, “I’ll admit it, my actions did seem suggestive of something more…”

 

Cyrus smiled, “Yeah, always walking right next to me we’d practically bump shoulders, always sticking to me whenever we’re in a group, always inviting me out just the two of us, always putting your arm around me, the nicknames...” He trailed off.

 

“Som-” T.J. began before Cyrus cut him off, staring past him as if in a trance, “Looking at me with those eyes and that look that makes me feel like there is no one else you’d rather be with than with me, smiling at me with that one rare lopsided smile that makes me feel like I’m walking on air, light as a feather, and when you caress me...it’s like I am the most precious thing that has ever existed to you and you don’t wish to…” His voice weakened as he blinked hurriedly, turning away from T.J. to wipe at his face.

 

T.J. was at a loss for words.  _ Have I really done all those things? _ He thought to himself.

 

He thought back to the very beginning when he and Cyrus first had an actual conversation on the swingset and every conversation they’ve had since then. And just like that it all came rushing back every look, smile, and touch.

 

_ Why have I done all those things? _

 

“Underdog, listen,” He didn’t even know where to begin, “It really is all my fault, I should’ve been more considerate of your feelings and how you and others would perceive my actions...I’ve just never had a friend like you and it was all new to me, I’m sorry. I hadn’t even realized our friendship moved quicker than normal.” He let out a long sigh, “We just got to know each other and it was so easy because you didn’t expect anything from me, to you I was someone brand new. You actually tried to be my friend despite how horrible I was to you or the people around you, you always stuck by me. I may not return your feelings, Cyrus, but I meant what I said, you are a very special person to me and I don’t want to lose you and I don't want to lose you,” He finishes, closing his eyes trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall while breathing deeply.

 

Quiet sniffling draws his attention to Cyrus, crying into his hands. “Oh, Underdog, please don’t cry,” T.J. begged softly, afraid if he spoke any louder he’d begin crying and this wasn’t about him, this was about Cyrus.

 

“I jus-I just w-wanna be frien-friends again. Teej!” Cyrus sobbed brokenly, looking up at him with overflowing eyes and blotchy red cheeks.

 

“Me too, Cy, that’s all I want,” T.J. cried rubbing at the tears that escaped.

 

“Can-can we b-be friends again?” Cyrus asked, inching closer.

 

“Of c-course we can, Muffin, you didn't even have to ask.”

 

As soon as those words left his mouth, Cyrus threw himself at T.J., wrapping his arms around his torso and holding him close, nestling his tear-stained face against T.J.'s broad chest, trying to stop crying. T.J. quickly reciprocated the hold, bringing the boy closer, afraid he'd lose him and he probably almost did.

 

“We can be friends for as long as you want to,” T.J. murmured into Cyrus’ soft locks. 

 

Cyrus nodded his head and hugged T.J. tighter.

 

-^-

 

Once they had managed to compose themselves and look more presentable they walked to the spoon and had some milkshakes, catching one another up on what was going on in their lives since they last saw each other.

 

T.J. tried his best to keep a nice distance between him and Cyrus, but he found it hard to do. 

 

Whenever Cyrus would laugh he'd bump their shoulders together and T.J. couldn't find it in himself to pull away causing their knuckles to begin brushing against one another and it felt like a magnet that prevented them from straying too far from each other. It made him feel warm and happy that Cyrus still felt comfortable enough to be around him, to joke with him and laugh with him.

 

-^-

 

After that day, everything seemed to go back to how it was before and T.J. couldn't have been happier.

 

Cyrus must have done some serious smoothing over because the next time he saw Andi and Buffy none of them said a word in regards to what had happened. To be honest, T.J. was ever so grateful for that, he really didn't like talking about his feelings or personal life with anyone and it really wasn't their business.

 

They all hung out like normal and if T.J. noticed that Cyrus tended to lean towards group outings more than just the two of them he didn't mention it and tried not to feel too hurt, this was for Cyrus and if being alone with him bothered him T.J. would suck it up. He just wanted to be around Cyrus.

 

They were now at The Spoon, two tables pushed together seating eight rowdy teenagers planning a pool party, well six, two were signing furiously back and forth trying to keep up with the heated debate on what kind of music should be on the “Poolio Partay” playlist.

 

Amber and Andi were fighting for early 2000s while Marty was arguing that hip hop was the way to go, T.J. kept shooting each of them down saying they didn't know that 70s and 80s rock was pool party music. Jonah said he didn't mind so long as they included alternative, same with Buffy, she was fine with whatever so long as there was no Taylor Swift. Cyrus didn't really care, to him music was music and Libby well she didn't mind, but she found it funny though that everyone was making such a big deal about what they should listen to.

 

The waitress came over giving Cyrus an indulgent look, he smiled sheepishly back at her watching as she placed the four baskets of baby taters on the table, Cyrus and Libby sliding them over to the other end, she then began calling out milkshake flavors. “Chocolate?” Cyrus and Buffy. “Cookies n’ Cream?” Marty. “Strawberry?” Amber and Andi. “Banana?” Jonah and Libby. “Vanilla?” T.J.. And with that, she left.

 

“Wow, vanilla? You're so basic, T.J.,” Buffy snorted.

 

“Ah, bite me, chocolate,” T.J. snarked, sipping at his milkshake.

 

“Aw, what's wrong with chocolate?” Cyrus questioned, turning to look up at T.J. with a feint pout.

 

T.J. felt his heart speed up at the expression, “Nothin’, Muffin, Buffy started it.” He pointed at Buffy.

 

“Wha-” She was cut off by Cyrus turning to look at her. “Buffy we do not make fun of someone because of their preference in milkshake flavor.”

 

“That's right,” T.J. said crossing his arms and puffing his chest out in triumph.

 

“No matter how basic,” Cyrus giggled out, earning a scandalized look from T.J..

 

“Underdog! You're supposed to be on my side!” T.J. playfully whined.

 

“I'm not on anyone's side, I'm just agreeing with Buffy.” Cyrus jokingly shoved T.J. with his shoulder.

 

“Same thing,” He pointed out. “Alright, anyone else here thinks vanilla is basic?” T.J. looked around the table. Buffy's hand shot up in the air, “Me!” Amber and Andi slowly lifted their hands, too. Cyrus followed. T.J. saw Jonah signing to Libby what he'd just said, Libby shook her head in T.J.'s direction and signed 'I like vanilla, too” A sweet smile on her face.

 

T.J. smiled back, leaning forward he signed back 'Thank you, you're a doll. At least someone at this table has taste.’ He leaned back, crossing his arms causing her to giggle softly. 

 

“Uh, excuse me? I have taste,” Marty raised his hand.

 

T.J. smacked him in the chest, “Why didn't you say something then? Is because of your girlfriend?” T.J. teased, everyone began laughing at Marty's floundering.

 

“N-no! I am capable of thinking without Buffy!” He stated, slamming his hand down on the table.

 

“Sure, you are, Marty,” Amber assured, patting his shoulder.

 

“I am!” He tried again.

 

“No one cares, Marts,” Andi held up her hand in front of his face. “Now, can we get back to putting together “Poolio Partay”?

 

“Please!” Amber practically shouted.

 

“Yes, I am over this milkshake talk!” Jonah agreed, sipping at his shake before grabbing at the baby taters.

 

“So I was thinking we start off with  _ Hollaback Girl, _ to get everyone bumpin’ and then onto _ Whatcha Say, Glamorous, Butto _ -” “That doesn't even make any sense,” T.J. interrupted Amber.

 

“Uh, yeah it does, early 2000s is the playlist theme,” She said matter-of-factly, popping a baby tater into her mouth, Andi nodding along with her.

 

“No, it isn't, it's 70s and 80s rock,” T.J. shot back. “We'll start with some Led Zeppelin and move on to Aerosmith, touch on some Styx, definitely some Hendrix and Queen. Can we fit Bowie?” T.J. listed off, looking around the table.

 

“What in the heckers are you talking about?” Marty questioned.

 

Jonah gasped loudly, hand going to his chest, “You don't know rock? We gotta have rock now! Buffy smack your boyfriend!”

 

“Woah woah woah! There will be no smacking of me!” Marty leaned back in his chair, trying to further himself away from his girlfriend's outstretched hand. “I only meant, that isn't the playlist hip hop?” He asked.

 

“That means we gotta have Kendrick, J. Cole, Ed, uh…” Marty began listing on his fingers.

 

“No. It's not, Marts,” T.J. stopped him.

 

“Why can't we have all these songs and artists you guys want on “Poolio Partay”? I'm sure there is enough space,” Cyrus spoke for the first time about the playlist.

 

“Because then it wouldn't be cohesive,” Andi replied, sipping at her shake. “A playlist needs to be cohesive if it's going to set a mood.”

 

“Exactly!” Amber agreed, high-fiving Andi.

 

“No it doesn't,” Cyrus argued back, shaking his head with disbelief. “A playlist can be of whatever songs you like.”

 

“Cyrus is right,” Jonah agreed, munching on a baby tater.

 

“Thank you, Jonah.” Cyrus nodded.

 

“Well, it's my pool so my playlist.” Amber crossed her arms.

 

“Well, without us it wouldn't be a party so we all have to agree,” Buffy pointed out.

 

“Ugh! How about we all make our own playlist and we can take turns playing them at the party?” Andi threw her hands up in the air, tired of all the back and forth.

 

T.J. pursed his lips, “Fine.”

 

-^-

 

It was an hour before the pool party at Amber's and T.J. was finishing up packing his bag. He had woken up late so he was kind of in a rush, it was a little over mid-day and his parents were the only reason he was awake, they were blasting oldies.

 

He stuffed the sunscreen and extra towel into his duffle and zipped it up. Pulling on his white shirt he stepped into his flip-flops swinging the duffle over one shoulder and left his room.

 

Downstairs he saw his parents and Moe dancing around to  _ Born to Hand Jive _ . He smiled when his mom caught sight of him, “C'mon, join us!” She grabbed his hands and began dancing around with him, pushing him out and pulling him back in before spinning him.

 

“Ma, I gotta go, sorry, but Ima be late,” He chuckled as she passed him to his dad, who spun him around. 

 

“Ah, you party pooper,” His dad jested as he gave him a final wirl to the front door.

 

“Boo! You're no fun!” Moe laughed after him, as he spun their mom around.

 

“I'll be back later to dance,” T.J. promised as he shut the door.

 

-^-

 

He arrived at Amber's letting himself in through the back gate. He saw Amber and Andi talking in a corner in hushed voices, both in their swimsuits, Amber in a kate spade yellow two-piece and Andi in a baby blue tankini. They seem to be really close. His attention is drawn towards the pool when a loud splash followed by a loud “Woo!” is heard.

 

Marty is standing at the edge of the pool his hands up the air, a large smile on his face as Buffy emerges from underneath the water. 

 

“Marty!” She screeches.

 

“What?” He turns to look down at her the large smile growing.

 

“You're gonna pay for that!” She promised as she pushed herself out of the pool. Marty seemed to realize the severity of what he had just done and began running.

 

“No running around the pool, your gonna get hurt!” Cyrus reprimanded the running couple, who paid him no mind.

 

T.J. walked up to him, sitting in the shade, and lightly kicked his leg, “You resident lifeguard?” He smirked as Cyrus squinted up at him.

 

“Might as well be, if no one pays me any mind,” He joked shrugging.

 

T.J. sat next to him, “I'd pay you mind.” He smiled bumping their shoulders together. Cyrus laughed, “Please, you say that, but once Buffy and Marty have you in their grasps you'll ignore me.”

 

T.J. looked him over before looking into his eyes, “Try me.” He said lowly.

 

Cyrus blushed deeply, his eyes widening. T.J. was internally screaming.  _ Why did I say that? What was th- _ He was broken out of his thoughts when Cyrus leaned up and said in a low voice, “I will, but if you even ignore me once in favor of beating Buffy or Marty, you'll have to buy me…” He put a finger to his chin, tapping as he thought, his face quickly brightened and an “Ah-ha!” left his mouth. T.J. felt his heart thump wildly in his chest.

 

“You'll have to buy me frozen yoghurt whenever I want!” He crossed his arms with a pleased hmph.

 

T.J. chuckled at that, “Deal but if I win, you have to come with me on my morning runs for a week.” Cyrus’ smile faltered a bit before looking back up at T.J., smile big, “Deal.” And they shook on it.

 

“Alright, let's get this pool party started!” Andi screamed, pushing a button on her phone and immediately  _ Glamours _ began blasting from the speakers. Amber grabbed Andi's hand and began dancing with her.

 

Jonah arrived with Libby a while later bringing with them an assortment of pool noodles and floats that had everyone excited until they heard a loud splash and looked over to see Buffy smiling triumphantly down at the pool, hands on her hips. “Told you you'd pay.”

 

Marty emerged wiping the water from his face and hair, “Guess you did,” He said before jumping up and grabbing her hand pulling her down into the pool with him.

 

“You gonna get in?” T.J. turned to Cyrus.

 

“Yeah, just need to wait five more minutes for the sunscreen to ya know, work,” He shrugged. 

 

“Ah yes, sunscreen. Help me get my back?” T.J. asked looking in his bag for the sunscreen, he pulled it out turning to Cyrus, who nodded carefully.

 

“Thanks, Muffin,” T.J. said getting up and reaching behind him to pull the shirt over his head. He discarded it on top of his bag, squeezing a dollop of sunscreen on the palm of his hand and began rubbing it onto his arm. He tossed the bottle to Cyrus who clumsily caught it and squeezed some onto his palm and rubbing them together.

 

“Get down here, Sasquatch,” Cyrus called laughing as T.J. shot him a look and sat down. Cyrus smacked his hands down onto T.J.'s back laughing, even more, when he flinched from the contact. 

 

T.J. could feel his face getting warm from the way Cyrus was carefully lathering the sunscreen onto his back. He could feel Cyrus’ hands getting lower as they spread the cream. 

 

“Uh, Cyrus?” He cleared his throat, catching the boys attention.

 

“Yeah?” His voice was soft as he continued on his way lower.

 

“I'm not ticklish,” T.J. pointed out.

 

“Aw! Seriously?” Cyrus exclaimed, wiggling his fingers at T.J.'s side trying to call a bluff.

 

“Seriously,” He chuckled at Cyrus’ futile attempts. 

 

“Well, you're no fun.” Cyrus crossed his arms in front of him pouting.

 

“I'm no fun?” T.J. asked to which Cyrus nodded. He looked over at the pool, Jonah and Libby were conversing on the steps while Buffy and Marty were under the water, probably trying to see who could hold their breath the longest. Amber and Andi were dancing along to  _ Hollaback Girl _ .

 

“Oh, I can be fun,” T.J. said, picking up Cyrus and throwing him over his shoulder before running towards the pool, laughing as he heard Cyrus’ protests. He got to the edge and jumped, “Look out below!” He screamed along with Cyrus.

 

Cyrus resurfaced first and when T.J.'s head came up he began scolding T.J., “T.J., we could've gotten hurt.”

 

“But we didn't,” T.J. countered.

 

“But we could've, you didn't even finish putting on sunscreen or waited the fifteen minutes,” He whined.

 

“Cyrus, relax, I'll be fine.”

 

“But you could get skin cancer!” He tried.

 

“Underdog, I am not gonna get skin cancer from not wearing sunscreen once, relax and let's enjoy this time we have with our friends, yeah?” 

 

Cyrus sighed, “Alright.”

 

“You cheated!” They heard Marty yell as he resurfaced.

 

“How?” Buffy demanded, wiping the water out of her eyes.

 

“You touched my neck! You know sensitive I am there!” 

 

“Rule number one! Never-ever tell your enemies your enemies your weaknesses under any circumstances!”

 

“Enemy?! You're my girlfriend!” 

 

-^-

 

T.J. ended up winning their little deal and like promised he was at Cyrus’ at 5:30 in the morning every day for a week.

 

Cyrus rued the day he made that deal every time he woke up to the sound of T.J. knocking on his bedroom door. His dad always let him in, snickering behind his coffee cup at Cyrus’ grumpy morning face.

 

They would run around the block four times, it took them quite a while because Cyrus had to make frequent stops and they couldn't go too fast because Cyrus couldn't exert himself too much or else T.J. would have an asthma attack on his hands and he wanted to avoid that as much as possible. But as the days went on Cyrus got better and better and was even able to keep a steadier pace without faltering. He had been so excited and if T.J. thought that was the cutest he had ever seen Cyrus with  his cheeks all flushed and a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead as he smiled brightly up at T.J. then no one had to know, especially when Cyrus jumped up and wrapped his arms around his neck and whispered a soft “Thank you” into his ear making his heart go 'ba-bump ba-bump’ absolutely no one had to know.

 

When it came to the last day, Cyrus was already up and ready by the time T.J. knocked on their front door. He opened it up and practically pushed past T.J., “C'mon, Teej! I think I can finally do the fifth time around,” He exclaimed bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

 

T.J. waved at Norman, who waved back before closing the door. “Sure you can, Underdog! You can do anything,” T.J. praised, his heart speeding up as Cyrus smiled up at him, before grabbing his hand and tugging him off his front porch and onto the sidewalk to begin their run.

 

-^-

 

T.J. went up into his room, plopping onto his bed sighing out loud.  _ What's wrong with me? _ He thought to himself. He had just gotten home from his last run with Cyrus and true to his belief Cyrus had been able to do the fifth run around the block, albeit a bit slower, but it was a huge improvement from his first day where he had to make constant stops every 6 minutes. T.J. was proud of him he was doing better and it helped that they were now doing better as well. Cyrus didn't have this air of hesitance around him anymore, T.J. didn't have to dance around him in fear of overstepping any boundaries, they acted like the friends they had been all along.

 

But now, T.J. felt a strange warmth whenever Cyrus so much as smiled his way, his heart kept speeding up whenever their shoulders brushed and he swore it skipped a few beats whenever Cyrus spoke in that soft tone to him. He didn't know what to make of it, feelings had never really been T.J.'s strong suit and any talk about feelings in his past had always been hard to explain or he'd just gotten lucky.

 

Just the thought of Cyrus made T.J.'s stomach flip, he was sad that their runs together were over, but at least they had helped. But now he just wanted to be around Cyrus even more, he didn't even know what it was and it was starting to give him a headache so he shook his head and got up going into the bathroom to shower before getting ready for work.

 

-^-

 

T.J.'s brows furrowed. 

 

“Um, what did you just say?” Buffy asked incredulously, blinking a few times.

 

Andi grimaced a bit at Buffy's face. “Well, I think that's wonderful, Andi. I'm so happy for you!” Cyrus smiled happily at Andi.

 

“Thank you, Cy, at least someone is happy for me.” Andi looked at Buffy.

 

“I am happy for you, it's just unexpected, you never told me anything,” Buffy exclaimed.

 

“Well, we didn't want to say anything until we were sure this was right,” Andi explained, biting into a milkshake dipped tater.

 

“But why didn't you mention even-” “Buffy if she didn't want to say anything that's her choice, not everyone feels comfortable enough to talk about...” Cyrus hesitated a bit, shifting in his seat next to T.J.. “That kind of stuff,” He finished.

 

T.J. felt guilt seep into his chest, his leg began bouncing as he felt Andi and Buffy throw a quick look his way, but it all felt better when he felt Cyrus place a gentle hand on his knee stopping it. He looked over at Cyrus who smiled gently at him and the air left him. He was so beautiful in that moment, the way the sunlight filtered through the window made his eyes glow a startling amber.

 

The bell above the door to the diner startled them. T.J. turned to the door and in came the other half of the topic. Amber.

 

Andi stood up to greet her girlfriend with a kiss to the cheek a bright smile on both their faces as Andi turned back to the group. “Guys, I want you to officially meet my girlfriend,” She paused turning to Amber who nodded for Andi to continue, “Amber!” She squealed, holding up their intertwined hands.

 

T.J. looked at the couple, they looked so happy.

 

Cyrus stood up, “Congratulations, guys! I'm so happy for you!” He hugged them both as they giggled.

 

“Yeah, congrats guys. I'm sorry Andi, I was just surprised is all, you never said anything or hinted at this, but I'm really happy for you, both of you,” Buffy said, standing and joining the hug.

 

“Yeah, I know, there was just so much going on with,” Andi looked to Cyrus, “And I didn't want to put more on all of our plates.”

 

“Andi, you shouldn't have, you're just as important as any of us,” Cyrus said as they separated from the hug and sat down.

 

Amber, Andi, and Buffy sat down a little squished together with all three of them on one side of the booth and T.J. and Cyrus on the other side.

 

“You've been quiet, T.J., what's wrong?” Cyrus looked up at him.

 

“Huh? Oh, nothing sorry, just deep in thought, but congrats, Andi and Amber, you guys look really happy together.” He smiled at them.

 

“We are, thanks, T.J..” Amber smiled at him before turning back to Andi and smiling adoringly at her.

 

The conversation began up again, mostly revolving around the new couple, but T.J. couldn't concentrate on that too busy thinking about the boy sitting next to him.

 

-^-

 

It hit him like a ton of bricks one night.

 

He sat up in his bed with a start.

 

_ I'm in  _ **_love_ ** _ with Cyrus! _

 

What was he gonna do now? He'd already told Cyrus he didn't feel the same, he couldn't just up and randomly tell Cyrus he was now in love with him! It'd be like he was just playing around with his feelings and he didn't want it to come off that way, Cyrus meant to much to him. 

 

_ Was this how Cyrus felt when he had confessed to me? _

 

T.J. was terrified for what this meant he didn't want to ruin anything.

 

He turned to his window and gazed out into the night sky, the stars barely visible.

 

_ I'm not gonna sleep, am I? _

 

He let out a long frustrated groan and fell back onto his bed letting Cyrus invade his thoughts.

 

-^-

 

“T.J.!” 

 

T.J. was roused from his minute of shut-eye and slowly lifted his head. “Yeah, what?”

 

“Are you okay? Did you get any sleep last night?” Cyrus asked concerned, reaching a hand out to place it on top of his.

 

T.J.'s heartbeat quickened and he could feel his ears getting warmer the more those big doe eyes looked at him. “N-not a wink.”

 

“Why? What's wrong?” 

 

T.J. couldn't tell him, but he didn't want to lie to him either so instead, he said, “I've made a recent discovery and I really don't know how to go about it.”

 

“Oh, well, uh, you should do what you think is best,” Cyrus tried.

 

T.J. smiled at him so like Cyrus to try and give the best advice he could with the limited information provided.

 

“But that's the thing, I don't know what is best, it's so confusing,” He sighed, closing his eyes. It felt so good to close them, he wanted sleep bad.

 

“Why?” Cyrus pressed.

 

“Because something happened and now I can't take it back,” T.J. explained, opening his eyes and looking at Cyrus’ concerned expression.

 

“Oh, sorry.”

 

“Don't be, it's not your fault it's mine.” T.J. smiled tiredly.

 

“Okay.” Cyrus smiled softly at him, T.J.'s heart fluttered. “Now, let's get you home, you need some z's.” He grabbed T.J.'s hand and stood up, pulling him with him.

 

T.J. chuckled, “But what about the baby taters and milkshakes?” He lightly protested.

 

“We can come some other day, don't worry about it.” Cyrus waved him off, heading towards the door.

 

“But we already ordered.” T.J. gestures to the counter.

 

“Cancel our order!” He shouted over his shoulder, pushing the door open.

 

T.J. smiled at the back of Cyrus’ head, letting himself be pulled along to his house.

 

-^-

 

T.J. had almost fallen asleep on the way to his house causing Cyrus to almost fall over and drop him. 

 

“Sorry, Muffin,” He mumbled tiredly into Cyrus’ ear. Cyrus blushed deeply at the warm, sleepy tone.

 

“It's okay,” Cyrus mumbled back.

 

They had managed to make it up the stairs in one piece and Cyrus couldn't have been more grateful, he feared he'd drop T.J. over the rail. 

 

Cyrus opened the door to T.J.'s room and walked them over to T.J.'s bed. He let T.J. fall forgetting the arm T.J. had around him and fell with him onto the bed.

 

“Ugh, sorry, Teej,” Cyrus whispered making to get up.

 

“No, don't leave, stay,” T.J. whispered grabbing a hold of Cyrus’ hand.

 

“Teej, you're tired, you have to sleep.” Cyrus wiggled their joined hands.

 

“Don't you wanna sleep, Muffin?” T.J. asked. “Aren't you tired?”

 

“Tired of what?” Cyrus tilted his head to the side.

 

“You know...everything. Life, feelings…” He mumbled off.

 

Cyrus’ heart sped up without reason, “Sometimes.”

 

“Then c'mon sleep.” T.J. patted the spot next to him.

 

Cyrus relented and carefully laid down next to him. T.J.'s hand tightened around his and Cyrus tried to ignore the wild thumping of his heart and the burning in his cheeks as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

 

-^-

 

T.J. woke up again with a start, he looked around blinking his eyes, adjusting them to the darkness of his room. 

 

_ How'd I get here? _ He thought before it all came back.  _ Oh yeah, Cyrus. _

 

_ Cyrus! _

 

Oh no, where was he? He whipped his head around his room looking for any sign of him. His eyes landed on a sticky note stuck to his headboard. He reached for it reading it.

 

_ -Hey T.J., I woke up and left, didn't want to wake you. You looked like you needed it. I know this is coming out of the blue, but is it okay if we don't see each other for a while, I need to be away from you, you know? Sorry. -Cyrus- _

 

_ Oh no, oh no! What did I do?! _

 

Now he was probably gonna lose Cyrus and he couldn't have that. He needed to see him. He checked the time on his phone: 10:48, Cyrus would still be awake, right? 

 

He didn't dwell on the question before running out of his room and down the stairs, shouting a quick “Cyrus!” To whoever was watching TV in the living room and he was out the door running as fast as he could through the empty streets.

 

He pulled out his phone and went to Cyrus’ contact, dialing the number. No answer. He tried again. No answer. Fine then, he'd do this way.

 

He took a sharp left and continued running until he arrived at Cyrus’ block, before slowing down to a jog, before stopping in front of Cyrus’ house.

 

All the lights were off, but he knew better. Norman and Sharon were usually down in the basement finishing up reports while Cyrus would be up in his room either watching a documentary or cat videos and judging from the note Cyrus left him, T.J. assumed it was the latter.

 

If he knocked on the door either Norman or Sharon would answer and announce his presence giving Cyrus enough time to work out a way to ignore him and he couldn't have that. That left him with the options of scaling the house or throwing pebbles at Cyrus’ window.

 

_ Well, there were no pebbles around so scaling the house it is. _

 

T.J. walked across the lawn up to the side of the house, eyeing the wall trying to figure out how he was gonna climb up to Cyrus’ window. He could use the water spout and would only have to go about halfway up before he could reach the roof and haul himself up. Yeah, that would work.

 

He grabbed a hold of the spout and jiggled it around, testing its stability. It didn't move around much, which was a good thing. He moved his hands higher up on the spout and gripped tightly, wrapping a leg around the base before pulling himself up and climbing a bit before reaching a hand up to see if he could grasp at the edge of the roof. He could. He tightened his legs around the spout before carefully releasing the hold he had with his other hand and gripped the edge with both hands. He took a deep breath before loosening his legs around the spout. His hands tightened on the edge, releasing a breathe he mustered up all his strength and hauled himself up, hooking a leg up and using the leverage to pull himself the rest of the way up. He heaved a sigh of relief when his whole body was up on the roof taking a moment to catch his breath.

 

He looked over at the window he knew to be Cyrus’ and smiled at the faint light coming from it. T.J. found it cute that Cyrus still used a nightlight for bed.

 

He got up and carefully walked up to it, looking inside, it was dark except for the nightlight glow, he could see a little lump on the bed a faint blue light outlining it. He smiled to himself.

 

Curling his fist he knocked lightly on the glass with the knuckle of his middle finger. His heart pumping a bit faster as the tiny lump stirred, his smile wilting as the little lump stayed in bed. He knocked again, a little louder, smile growing as the lump flinched before sitting up and looking towards the window. T.J. smiled brightly, waving a bit before beckoning Cyrus over. 

 

Cyrus got up and carefully made his way over to the window. He leaned over and unlatched the little hook, swinging the window open. T.J. came in sitting on the cushioned window seat.

 

“Wha-what are you doing here, T.J.?” Cyrus asked in a hoarse whisper.

 

“I-I uh, wanted to see you,” T.J. responded. “I need to talk to you.” T.J. watched as Cyrus took a small step back.

 

“Did you read my note?”

 

“Yeah, that's why I'm here.”

 

“T.J. please, can you give me some time to be away from you? Please?”

 

T.J. looked at him carefully, with what little light the moon and street lamps illuminated, he could see the faint red in Cyrus’ eyes indicating he had been crying, the slight hoarseness in his voice only confirming T.J.'s hunch.

 

“Underdog, I need you to listen to me, okay? Please?” He begged.

 

Cyrus gave a small nod.

 

“I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't thinking.”

 

“Yeah, you were practically half asleep,” Cyrus whispered.

 

“No, I wasn't thinking about you.” T.J. reached out to Cyrus. “I was thinking about how much I wanted to be close to you, how I didn't want you to leave because you are the reason I didn't get any sleep! I couldn't stop thinking about you!” His voice got louder by the end.

 

“Wh-why?” Cyrus asked he sounded on the verge of tears as he slowly placed his hand in T.J.'s and felt the long slender fingers intertwine with his.

 

“Because…” He faltered a bit, this was it. “Because that was the night I realized how much I loved you and how much I have been in love with you! And I didn't know what to do because I had already told you ‘no’ and I didn't want to make it seem like I was playing with your feelings because I care about you so much! And-and I need you in my life so badly! You're the only one, the only one who gets me and I love that so much!”

 

The tears were slowly falling down Cyrus’ cheeks. “I-I love you,” T.J. finished squeezing his hand, tears falling from his eyes, all his emotions in a tumble waiting for a response.

 

A sob wracked Cyrus’ body as he carefully stepped towards T.J. and wrapped his hands around him, tightly. T.J. wrapped his around Cyrus’ middle, burying his face into his tummy, relishing in the softness of his pajama shirt.

 

“You don't know how much I've always wanted to hear those words from you,” Cyrus hiccuped. “And now that I do, it feels like a beautiful dream and I don't want to wake up.”

 

T.J. looked up at him, his chin pressing into his stomach as he spoke softly, “It's not a dream, Muffin. I'm here and I love you so much.”

 

Cyrus hugged him tighter, more tears leaving his eyes. T.J. pulled him down, sitting him in his lap, he leaned in and rested their foreheads together. “I don't think I will ever stop loving you,” He whispered.

 

Cyrus giggled softly, “I-I love you, too.” Cyrus hugged him, again, resting his chin on T.J.'s shoulder.

 

T.J. pulled back and looked into Cyrus’ dark eyes, they were sparkling with so much gaiety, he looked so beautiful.

 

“Can-can I kiss you?” He asked gently.

 

Cyrus’ eyes widened, “Yes,” He whispered out delicately.

 

T.J. slowly leaned in connecting their lips tenderly, and it felt like his heart was gonna explode from how fast it beating. 

 

They separated slowly and T.J. could see the beautiful blush that covered Cyrus’ cheeks, he was practically glowing.

 

T.J. grabbed Cyrus’ hand and brought it up to his chest, placing it above his beating heart. “Only you could make my heart beat like this and because of that,” T.J. breathed out. “It belongs to you.”

 

More tears flowed from Cyrus’ eyes as he leaned back in to capture T.J.'s lips in a kiss filled with all the love Cyrus had to offer him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it please leave a comment I love reading them and kudos are pretty great, too.
> 
> If you have any questions regarding the story don't hesitate to ask.
> 
> Thank you so much!
> 
> P.S. I am so sorry!
> 
> P.P.S. I hope you liked it.


End file.
